Fix You

Just as quickly as it comes it all goes away. One minute you can think everything is going right and the next it cane all be broken and confused. I thought it was going to be okay. I thought I could handle it. I thought it wouldn't affect me. But it did. It was a loss of enormous proportions. A community broken by one missing piece. The emotions in the aftermath could be heard, felt, breathed. For me, it was a reminder of how pointless of a life I live. Nothing I've done today has had any significance. I wasn't there when you needed me. I didn't even think about how much you might need me. I let you down. I should have been there and I wasn't. I am so sorry. For every pointless action I've made and all the times I could have acted and didn't. I try so hard to be everything for everyone. I think it's time to stop. I need to be the girl God wants me to be and nothing else. A piece of me just broke inside. A piece that I didn't know existed. I am a little lost. I want to be on the path, the path of righteousness. I want to love without ceasing. Most of all I want to fix you.