Crack the Shutters

Sometimes I'm so overwhelmed by you and the fact that you've been and you've changed and you've lived and you've learned and you've loved.  And I just feel inadequate when I think about all that you've done and all that you can do.  and I wonder if you have this high expectation for us all, like we're supposed to be able to do everything you've done.  Because I don't know if I can live up to that.  maybe it's your thing.  I mean I want to go and work and change, but sometimes it just doesn't seem possible.  and the fact that I can't, at least not for a while, makes me feel like you see me as someone who's not trying or wanting or believing.  And I am, I am doing all of those things, but sometimes they're not enough.  They're all I can do, and it's not enough.  And that's so hard.  SO hard for me to handle.  Because I want to be everything I think you want me to be.  But I fail.  And I'm sorry.  I want to live a life of love and belief and change; I want to be like you, and I'm sorry I can't.  But I'm really trying.  I just hope you know that.   And I hope you know that you are amazing because you can and because you did.  but I'm not you.  and I know that.  It's just a little hard for me to accept.  So I guess I'm just trying to say I'm trying, and failing, and sorry.